By: Ethan Levine
7/5/03 – 7/8/03
After Houston, we traveled on towards San Antonio and tried to find a cheap hotel along the way. Apparently, hotels increase their prices considerably on the weekend and we didn’t do so well in finding a cheap hotel that night, but it was pretty close to our set budget limit. We only got a one bed room, so we blew up the air mattress in the  room and used that too (see Picture #1). The town we stopped in was Seguin, some random town on I-10 on the way to San Antonio. The motel was alright, but we saw the biggest bugs ever. We saw some in the room in the morning. Oh well, I guess it’s good the night was over.
We went into San Antonio for the afternoon after taking it easy in the morning to check out the Alamo. San Antonio is actually a pretty city with a nice city center around the Alamo. They have a whole plaza set up around it  (see Picture #2). We got to walk inside the Alamo, it was actually quite cool. They made me take off my hat because I guess they look at the Alamo as still a holy place or almost even a shrine for all Texans. Afterwards we ate some lunch outside at the plaza and then headed out towards Austin.
Lunch wasn’t completely uneventful because I took off my hat and sure enough there was a white stain on it. It appeared as if a bird took a poop on my head. Right on my new Yankees hat. I mean come on, the Spurs beat the Nets, give people from the tri-state area a break. Maybe they were getting back at me for killing that bird once when I was playing golf. Needless to say, I strayed away from birds the rest of the day.
On the way, we hit the worst traffic yet on the trip. Who would’ve figured the first traffic we would hit since getting onto the Garden State Parkway would be in Texas. The state’s so big, why doesn’t everyone just spread out? In Austin, we found a cheap motel that had a pool! So, Megan and I took a swim where we got to hang out with these two cute little kids of 4 and 5. Their father directed us in the right way for dinner.
We went to this fast food chain called Taco Cabana. Except, it was extremely different from most McDonald’s or Wendy’s that I had been to before. First of all, the food was really good and less expensive for the quantity we got. Secondly, they sold $2.50 Margheritas there. That’s a pretty good deal. Thirdly, the manager of the establishment, Dennis Swinney, wasn’t some pimply faced teenager who seemed his life was over and he was trapped in hell by working at the counter. The dude, was friendly, taught Marc some things about Mexican food, and began giving us some advice on what to do in California when we got there. Actually, he wouldn’t leave us alone, it kinda got weird, almost as if he was looking for an invitation, but at least he was nice.
Afterwards, we drove into downtown Austin to check out the State Capitol which is apparently bigger than the nation’s capitol by 7 feet (see Picture #3). It was quite beautiful. Yea, I’m not quite sure, but there might be some inferiority complex there. I also saw it on a statue which  seems to be a complex that resonates throughout the entire South (see Picture #4). Then we happened upon this man who enjoys taking pictures of his cockatoo named Casper, a beautiful bird. He even let us hold it which was pretty cool! (see Picture #5) The problem came when he kept talking to us about all of this random stuff. He was pushing for this huge movement to thank firemen, something like www.LetsGiveThanksToFiremen.com or something along those lines. He also started telling us really bad jokes. After holding the cockatoo, I was ready to leave, as was Megan, fortunately for her, the bird pooped right after he took it back, nearly missing her back. Must be a fetish of Texas birds or something.
We walked down Sixth Avenue and tried to catch the bats, but we missed them. We played pool at a bar, tried to find this bar, didn’t and went to bed. The sketchy Motel 6 that we were at though seemed to have plenty of entertainment. Marc and I snuck into the motel next door to steal some ice on a covert operation. The ice machine at ours was broken (no, we don’t just come up with these ideas to create some fun). It seemed like there was some drug deal going on in the parking lot (Austin is the drug capital of the U.S.) and some random girl in a bikini asked Marc to use his cell phone b/c her boyfriend beats her. Very weird. I was happy no shots were fired through the window and that I woke up the following morning.
The following morning, I stole some more ice and we drove up to Dallas to Ana’s house. The directions were very good and we arrived at Ana’s house on her birthday with flowers in hand. She lives in a very cool house that has a porch on the roof! She even bought kosher cold cuts for me before my arrival (such a good friend :)). To my surprise there was also a package there waiting for me from Becca. She had sent me an ESPN magazine and my favorite candy, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups along with butterscotch candies. I have such a good girlfriend :). After eating, we went into downtown Dallas while Ana ran some errands.
We walked around the West End and visited the place where JFK was shot (see Picture #6, see Picture #7). It was pretty cool and Marc told us about all of these conspiracy theories and I’d tell them, but you guys can open a book too. We opted not to go in the museum for $9 which is ok because he got shot outside anyways and most of the interesting places to see are outside.
We headed back to Ana’s house and went to use her grandmother’s pool, although neither Ana or her grandmother were there. It was a nice pool and we had a good time nonetheless.
It was Ana’s birthday, so she went out to dinner with her family and her family was so nice and let us use their kitchen to make ourselves dinner. It worked out perfectly! We just chilled there the rest of the night. Ana’s family got back (see Picture #8) and some of us began watching “A Fish Named Wanda” and ended up falling asleep.
The following morning after a nice breakfast (it’s so nice staying at such a nice house) we headed out for our epic drive to Santa Fe or as far to Santa Fe as we could get.
Well, it was bound to happen at least once on our trip; hopefully it will not happen again. Of course, I was the sucker. So, we were driving west on U.S. Highway 82 through rural Texas and when I say rural, I question whether these towns that we were passing through had their own post offices. This highway we were driving on had a speed limit of 70 until we entered a town. We knew we were entering a town only by noticing a change in the speed limit. So, we were approaching this little piece of crap of a town called Nocona, Texas. Anyone heard of Nocona, Texas? I doubt it. I feel sorry for the 3,198 people that live in this “town.”  I was doubting whether or not electricity even flowed through it.
So, I saw a speed limit sign for 55 and turned off the cruise control to slow down and began braking as I approached the stop light. Next thing, I know this tool of a cop was flashing his lights behind me. Megan and I both looked at each other confused as to why I had been pulled over. So, I open my window and began chatting with this huge  hick of cop. He’s like, “So, you in a rush somewhere?” I replied no, jackass. (ok, maybe I just said no). And then he took my license and Marc’s insurance and told me he clocked me at 51 in a 40 zone. I was like, well, I was just slowing down from the highway as I was approaching your terrible, ugly, pathetic town. He ignored me and went back to his car to write me a speeding citation. C. Cox. That was his name. I’d love to make many jokes now about him not knowing how to read or needing orthodontal work or having 3 eyes. But I think I’m just going to leave it at just his name. Let’s just say the dude sucked more than anything.
Anyways, he gave me this citation and made me take a picture. I wonder what he needed the picture for. I’d say he was going to alter it for some type of porn website, but I’m sure he wouldn’t know how to turn on a computer He said that I could call the judge to find out what my fine would be, and I was like, can I talk to him now? So, I made him show me where the courthouse was. It was in some dingy building adjoining some sketchy motel. I spoke to the lady there and she told me I could contest the ticket in 10 days. Hmmm….wonder why they pulled over someone with NJ plates? Although I question whether Cox knew how to read the license plate. Speaking of which, he made sure to indicate on the ticket that the traffic was heavy. That was interesting since the only other car on the road I saw was his. Jackass.
Anyways, the lady in the office said I could serve 12 hours in jail for $100 worth of the ticket (apparently it cost $105) or do community service for $12.50 an hour. Actually, that’s not too bad, I should tell my brother about that job. When we asked about points, they got confused and had no idea what we were talking about. They said they wont report anything to my insurance company if it’s out of state. Seemed like a decent deal to me. I figured, I guess I’m gonna suck this one up and realize that the only revenue this crap of a town receives is by picking up travelers getting caught in their sucker of a speed trap. I was the sucker. Seems like this town has real high aspirations for itself. I felt like I was giving to charity or something.
The rest of the drive was pretty low key as we stopped at a drive-in for lunch. It was my first time at one. I didn’t order anything, but Megan and I watched Marc order. As we passed Amarillo, TX we came upon this sculpture called Cadillac Ranch (see Picture #9). It was pretty cool being in the middle of nowhere and right on the highway. Ana and her family had recommended we stop by it. As you can see, people enjoy leaving their marks there, so we decided to do the same (see Picture #10). Soon thereafter, we finally left Texas. Man, that’s a big state.
Thus concludes my update. As you can see, we didn’t get shot, which was an accomplishment, but I did get hustled. Texas has some nice cities and nice people like Ana’s family, but it sure is big. Took us 3 days to go across it (well, I guess we went at a leisurely pace). We’ve entered New Mexico which means new time zone and new update. We get to see some of the natural wonders that exist in our own country. Should be pretty cool.
I’ll try not to get hustled again in anymore speed traps.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Ethan
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