Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "The unemploy- ment rate has risen to 6.7 percent in November. It made President Bush really happy until he learned it wasn't his approval rating."
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "President Bush has been taking some criticism for all of the species he has tried to take off the endanger-ed species list. In his defense, think of all those he has added - like the middle class."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "A government auditor says there has not been enough oversight for the financial bailout. Of course, if there was any government oversight we wouldn't need the bailout in the first place."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "New York Congressman Vito Fossella will spend 5 days in jail for drunk driving. He will be among thugs, con men, and other lowlifes. And once he leaves Capitol Hill, it's on to prison."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "What's the difference between Jay Leno and President Bush? Leno has a job next year."
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "Paris Hilton is lobbying to play Tinkerbell in a new movie version of Peter Pan. In the Paris Hilton version, Tinkerbell would spread pixie dust as well as a troublesome rash."
