Comedy writer Jim Barach: "The federal government is warning of a terror plot in New York City involving the subways. They warn that people should be aware of the potential for toxic gases. No word yet on what to look for in the event of a terrorist attack."
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "President Bush said last weekend that he wants history to see him as a 'liberator of millions.' For starters, he liberated millions of Americans from the Republican party."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "During the transition, President Bush is busy granting pardons. Today he pardoned Sarah Palin for her interview with Katie Couric."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show," on the lighting of the White House Christmas tree: "(It) has over 25,000 lights on it - one light for every CEO that's looking for a bailout."
Comedy writer Matt Passet: "MTV announced that it will be throwing one of the inaugural balls for Barack Obama. Because you just don't feel like the president until you're congratulated by Downtown Julie Brown."
Comedy writer Jerry Perisho: "New York Giants receiver Plaxico Burress was suspended for four games after he accidentally shot himself in the leg over the weekend at a Manhattan nightclub. His career as an NFL receiver may be over, but his career as a rapper is just beginning."
