Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "Mark Cuban was charged with insider trading for selling shares of the company Mamma.com, the Securities and Exchange Commission said Monday. I always knew that he was the kind of guy that would even sell his own Mamma to make a quick buck."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "President-elect Barack Obama is still looking for a new White House dog. The search is on. In fact, do you realize he has spent more time selecting a dog than John McCain did selecting a running mate?"
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "Barack Obama has invited his mother-in-law to live with him in the White House. This proves once and for all he's not a socialist. He's actually a masochist."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "A poll says that 72 percent of Americans say that Barack Obama will fix the economy. The other 28 percent couldn't be reached because they no longer have a house, phone or computer."
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "In 1841, William Henry Harrison gave the longest inauguration speech in history, almost two hours, in bitter cold weather. He caught pneumonia and died a month later. Luckily for Joe Biden, there's no inaugural speech for the Vice President."
Comedy writer Jake Novak on Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang stepping down: "The company is doing so badly, it's conducting its search for a new CEO on Google."
Barach on a study that says sports fans engage in risky health behavior: "Like eating hot dogs at Giants Stadium."
