Comedy writer Alan Ray: "Halloween is Friday. It's where you put on fake hair and go door to door. Or, as Joe Biden calls it, 'Friday.'"
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "The longest-serving Republican senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, was found guilty ... on all charges in his corruption trial. Do you know this story? He failed to report he had some work done on his house. Yeah, here's the bad part. You know who did the work? Joe the Plumber. Unlicensed."
Michael Feldman, public radio's "Whad'Ya Know?": "John McCain, going into overdrive, introduces the Village People: Craig the Fireman, Chris the Carpenter, Maurice the Hard Hat, Frances the Cop, and Harry the Indian."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Oil prices are continuing to tumble. Finally people can afford to buy gas again, right after the Wall Street meltdown cost them the job that they used to drive to."
Craig Ferguson, "The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson": "The Pentagon is buying a portrait of Donald Rumsfeld for $46,000. But it will probably cost 10 times that, serve no real purpose, and never be finished. Remind you of anything?"
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien" on swing voters: "Political experts say that John McCain's only chance of winning the presidential election next week is to attract swing voters. Unfortunately, McCain thinks swing voters are people who listen to Glenn Miller."
