Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "Sarah Palin is now under criticism for having a tanning bed installed in the governor's mansion. The governor claims she did it because she wanted to understand people of color."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "Sarah Palin is learning the difference between the political world and the Pentecostal world. In both you speak in tongues, but in D.C. they're forked."
Craig Ferguson, The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson: "This weekend, Karl Rove said John McCain's attack ads have gone too far. When Karl Rove says you've gone too far, that's like Mel Gibson saying you've had too much to drink."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "A study says that traces of drugs in drinking water could affect as many as 46 million Americans. That's the same number of people in this country without health insurance. If we could just get those drugs to the right people, the health care crisis would be solved."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Experts say we're going through what's known as a lock, stock and barrel financial phase. ... People are locked out of their homes, their stocks are worthless, and the oil companies have us over a barrel."
Comedy writer Matt Passet: "New Yorkers are now being encouraged by the NYPD, if you witness a crime, to take a picture of it with your cell phone and send it to them. Witnesses are being asked to make sure they hit the 'send' button before they hand their cell phone over to the mugger."
