Craig Ferguson, "The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson": "Police in Denver are getting ready for the Democratic Convention in Denver. They're ordering the stun guns, the barbed wire, the plastic handcuffs - and that's just for Bill Clinton's room."
Stephen Colbert, "The Colbert Report": "Congressional Quarterly reported this week that John McCain may have copied some facts in a recent speech on the Georgian crisis from Wikipedia. I think it should have been obvious when he referred to the country's leader as 'President 404 Error: File Not Found.'"
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "Hard to believe with all the time and money invested in the Olympics, that by the end of August they will be over. Just like the Yankees."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "President Bush met Michael Phelps at the Olympics and touched his gold medal. There was an embarrassing moment when Bush suggested he should have it bronzed."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Olympic Champion Michael Phelps says he eats 12,000 calories a day. This means that nearly every American can say they have the same diet as an Olympic gold medalist."
Michael Feldman, public radio's "Whad'Ya Know?": "The Chinese government gets the gymnasts' gold medals, the girls have to settle for gummi bears."
