Comedy writer Alan Ray: "Russia has attacked Georgia. President Bush is monitoring the situation. If need be, he's prepared to send troops to Atlanta."
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "Bill Clinton has been causing more controversy by still refusing to say that Barack Obama is ready for the White House. Although after last week, he does say that he now feels John Edwards is ready."
Ray on Brett Favre joining the New York Jets: "His new teammates can tell the QB is much older than they are. That orange drink he's consuming isn't Gatorade. It's Metamucil."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "An Illinois inpatient facility is going to treat people who have an Internet addiction. As a special promotion, they're offering a special discount to any patients who sign up online."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "President Bush arrived in Beijing earlier today. And before stepping out of the plane, he tested the air with a canary."
Jimmy Kimmel, "Jimmy Kimmel Live": "President Bush has become the first sitting U.S. president to attend the Olympics in a foreign country. He said he's been looking forward to it ever since he learned that in China people are not allowed to make fun of political leaders."
