Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "Barack Obama announced that next month he wants to spend a week on vacation in Hawaii. After hearing about it, President Bush said, 'I can't believe he's taking another trip to a foreign country.'"
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "The Obamas revealed in an interview that they give their daughters $1 allowance a week. Curiously enough, it's the same amount the girls will probably get when they are eligible for Social Security."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "A proposed New York law seeks to restrict violent video games. The state says it wants to keep violence where it belongs - on the streets and in the parks."
Comedy writer Doug Austen: "The director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Institute has issued a warning to his faculty and staff: Limit cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer. That's a long way to go just to keep faculty and staff from calling you."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "Everybody going to the Olympics is concerned about the air quality in China. A lot of smog. Friends over there tell me that the air in China looks like the air in Willie Nelson's tour bus."
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "Cheech & Chong have announced they are getting back together. The plot of their new film will again be about two guys from L.A. looking for drugs, but this time it's cheaper prescription drugs from Canada."