Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Did you all see Hillary's concession speech over the weekend? She gave a lovely, lovely speech. She was gracious, very complimentary. She said she wanted Barack Obama to win, and then she hugged her husband, Bill. Then the Secret Service grabbed her, threw her to the ground and said, 'What have you done with the real Senator Clinton?'"
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "Clinton campaign chair Terry McAuliffe was asked what he would do next, and responded that he and Hillary 'were going to Disney World.' Which is a bit surprising, considering that for most of the last month or so, they've been living in Fantasyland."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Consumers relied less on their credit cards last month. The economy is so bad that people have just moved along to shoplifting."
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "John McCain said Thursday he would like to see a man on Mars - preferably President Bush."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "Dennis Kucinich entered articles of impeachment against President Bush. In response, an angry Bush placed Kucinich in a timeout."
Hough on Big Brown losing the Belmont Stakes: "A New York favorite hasn't flopped so spectacularly since Rudy Giuliani."
