Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Barack Obama says he is now looking for a new church. Preferably one where the religious order has to take a vow of silence."
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "During a speech, President Bush said that his economic stimulus package is working because when people use extra money to buy a machine, that creates jobs at 'the machine-making place.' Then Bush introduced his new speech writer, a 6-year-old boy named Timmy."
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "Some Republicans are saying that former press secretary Scott McClellan shouldn't have slammed the Bush administration and bit the hand that fed him. Judging by McClellan's appearance, he ate more than the hand."
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "John McCain is continuing to assert that Barack Obama needs to go to Iraq to really understand the war situation. When asked for how long, McCain replied that 'a three- or four-year tour of duty' would be a good start."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Billionaire investor Warren Buffett tried to calm fears about the economy by saying his children and grandchildren would live better than he does. Of course they will - they'll be spending all of his money."
