Comedy writer Jim Barach: "President Bush and the pope prayed together during the Pontiff's meeting at the White House. The pope prayed for world peace, while President Bush asked for a pony."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "President Bush made an appearance on the TV show 'Deal or No Deal.' I guess he got turned down for 'Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?' "
Bill Maher, "Real Time With Bill Maher": "You know that since George Bush has become president, gas has basically tripled in price. Now, Bush is an oil man. I'm not a conspiracy theorist, I'm just saying that if we had elected Colonel Sanders president, and the price of chicken had tripled, I'd be a little suspicious."
Comic and senior Newsday multimedia producer Meredith Daniels: "A new body scanner installed at Kennedy Airport allows security screeners to see images of passengers in their underwear or even naked. Coincidentally, applications for security screeners at Kennedy Airport have nearly tripled in the past week."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "A study shows that New Yorkers are getting a lot fatter. Except for the New York Knicks. By firing Isiah Thomas, they just lost 200 pounds of useless weight."
