I just wanted to wish Ethan and Becca Mazel Tov and Congratulations on their Wedding that happened this past weekend, June 24th, 2007! The entire wedding was absolutely incredible, and I couldn't be happier for my two friends! Enjoy the slideshow below, and if you want to see all the pictures and videos, visit Ethan and Becca's Wedding Album.
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "Vice President Dick Cheney is asserting that his office is not actually part of the executive branch. How bad are things going for the Bush administration that even the vice president pretends he has nothing to do with it?"
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "Hillary Clinton has a new campaign ad that spoofs 'The Sopranos' finale. In the ad, she orders carrot sticks at a diner, then switches the jukebox to a Celine Dion song. Hillary's calling the ad a lot of fun, and Bill is calling it a chilling window into his personal hell."
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "Republican Senator Richard Lugar said that President Bush's Iraq strategy is not working. He also suggested that Lindsay Lohan is a troubled young woman, Dennis Kucinich will not win the Democratic presidential nomination and the Yankees might not make it to this year's World Series."
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "A judge on Monday ruled in favor of a dry cleaner that was sued for $54 million over a missing pair of pants. The plaintiff says he will appeal, just as soon as his finishes his $600 million lawsuit against Snickers for not being packed with peanuts and failing to 'really satisfy.' "
Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," on Mayor Michael Bloom-berg's leaving the Republican Party: "This act thoroughly decimates the elfin, effete and Jewish wing of the Republican Party."
Bartes on Paris Hilton's claim she spent her time in prison reading the Bible: "That is why she decided to give her first interview to Larry King. She wanted him to tell her what Moses was really like."
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "Democratic presidential contender Barack Obama on Monday said his campaign made a 'dumb mistake' when it circulated a memo criticizing Hillary Rodham Clinton's financial ties to India. Apparently, since he released the info, he hasn't been able to fix his computer when he calls tech support."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Democratic presidential candidate Dennis Kucinich is heading an 'impeach Dick Cheney' movement. First of all, how many heart attacks has Cheney had? Five? Six? Want to get rid of this guy? Buy him a cheeseburger."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "North Carolina has disbarred Duke lacrosse team prosecutor Mike Nifong for dishonesty, fraud and deceit. Or, as it's called among lawyers, 'professionalism.'"
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "Hillary Clinton has launched a new Web site where people can get all the latest Hillary news. In a related story, John Edwards has launched a new Web site where people can order his secret blend of shampoos and conditioners."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman," on the rumor that President George W. Bush's wristwatch was stolen while meeting with crowds in Albania: "I was going through the files and I believe he is the first president to be robbed since - well, Al Gore."
Bartes on the rumor that Rosie O'Donnell could be the new host of "The Price is Right": "It would be the first game show where the host screams more than the contestants."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Peter Pace is leaving his job. He's the one who announced that all homosexual acts are immoral, and so is adultery. No wonder he left. He attacked all the members of Congress."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Paris Hilton is reportedly not sleeping or eating while in jail. So it looks like she has really made herself at home after all."
Comedy writer Patrick Gorse: "President Bush said today that immigration is good for America. In fact, he'd like to see a lot of Albanians enter the country."
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "While police are warning parents about a deadly mix of heroin and barbiturates coming out of Texas known as 'cheese heroin' that sells for about $2 a hit, there's apparently an even more addictive item coming out of Texas called 'petroleum' that's currently selling for about $3.50 a hit."
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night With Conan O'Brien": "At the G-8 Summit, Russian President Vladimir Putin offered to let President Bush build a missile defense system in Azerbaijan. There was an awkward moment when Bush said, 'I believe the correct pronunciation is 'Abracadabra.'"
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "The late President Gerald Ford will appear on a stamp in August. You know why they won't ever put Hillary Clinton on postage? She never sticks to anything."
A new mom in Palatine, IL turned her baby monitor on and, rather than her baby, she saw two men floating in space. She was viewing images of astronauts in the international space station. She also saw mission control and a map of the station's trajectory.
The mom called the manufacturer to ask if they knew why she was viewing the space station. They didn't. According to the mom, the CSR at the baby monitor company told her that she "really shouldn't be seeing anything past 150 feet."
Creepy. Sounds like the beginning of a Steven Spielberg movie back when his movies were still good.
First of all, I need to tell everyone to not EVER use Cobrahosts.com! They had been my hosting provider (and my Uncle's company's hosting provider) for some time ever since they first offered me a free account (we were paying for my Uncle's account). At first, they were great, and then apparently the company got sold to some incredibly unreliable and unprofessional people (who I believe are named Doreen and Terry and are possibly located in Florida). For the longest time, their web page wasn't even available and instead was somehow mistakenly pointing to another company's website. And whenever we had any problems, all our emails and any other attempts to reach them went unanswered. And the final straw was when, after experiencing major problems that prevented my Uncle's company from doing business (email's weren't able to be delivered), they simply responded by disabling our accounts and then had the nerve to tell us it was our fault and they weren't going to continue to have us as customers. I'd be happy to provide a more detailed explanation if anyone is interested, including documented evidence that backs everything I have to say up, but suffice to say, they are probably one of the worst companies I have EVER dealt with in my entire life and I'd highly recommend and urge that no one does any business with them.
Now that I've gotten that little rant out of the way, I want to thank DowntownHost.com for being such a professional new hosting provider and helping us easily transition over to them (both for this site as well as my Uncle's company). They offer numerous ways to contact them, are very responsive and capable, and overall seem to be much more reliable and customer-service oriented than most other companies out there. And their prices are great too! I'm very happy I switched to them!
This is probably very politically incorrect (and I'm not saying I agree with it)...but it's still funny...
Her Diary
Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep.- I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
His Diary
I shot the worst round of golf in my life today.....but at least I got laid.
A New York judge is presiding over the divorce proceedings of a Jewish couple. When the final papers have been signed and the divorce is complete the woman thanks the judge and says, "Now I have to arrange for a Ghet."
The judge inquires what she means by a Ghet. So, the woman explains that a Ghet is a religious ceremony required under the Jewish religion in order to receive a divorce recognized by the Jewish faith.
The judge says, "You mean a religious ceremony like a Bris?" (circumcision)
She replies, "Yes, very similar, only in this case you get rid of the entire Prick.
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," on the recent Democratic presidential debate: "All the candidates said if they were elected, they would get rid of the military's 'don't ask, don't tell' policy for gay soldiers. [It] would be replaced by a new policy: 'Don't tell me you're wearing those boots with that gun.'"
Michael Feldman, public radio's "Whad'Ya Know?": "The Secret Service has been erasing logs of visitors to Vice President Cheney's residence. Surprisingly, he's had some. Mostly Jehovah's Witnesses and the Orkin man - although that may have been Tom DeLay."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "There are three new books out this week about Hillary Clinton. One for each of her positions on the Iraq War."
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "Scooter Libby has been sentenced to 30 months in jail and a $250,000 fine for lying to investigators in the CIA leak case. Libby has been instructed to make the $250,000 check out to the Democratic Party."
Comedy writer Patrick Gorse: "President Bush has called immigrants 'people willing to risk everything for the dream of freedom,' and characterized America as 'a blessed and promised land in desperate need of mowing.' "
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "The statistics are out: New York City is now the safest big city in the nation. It's all due to Mayor Bloomberg's $50 fine for murder."
