Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher": "Republicans are still angry about this MoveOn.org ad. You know, 'the General Petraeus, he betrayed us,' and the Senate actually voted to condemn the ad. That's what your government did yesterday - they held a vote to pass a resolution to condemn an ad with a pun in it. And then they had Oreos and braided each other's hair."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "President Bush spoke to the UN on Tuesday. He pledged harsh sanctions against the tiny country of Myanmar. He refuses to give aid to any nation he can't pronounce or find on a map."
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "Before allowing Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to speak, Columbia University President Lee Bollinger cited all of the things the Iranian government does that Columbia finds unacceptable, including public executions of minors, imprisonment of gays and the failure to charge $45,000 a year for college tuition."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "According to a new report out of Cuba, Fidel Castro is near death, but he is clinging to life and is determined to outlive the Bush presidency. Wow, just like Dan Rather."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Rudy Giuliani says there is an evolution involved in his views on gun control. At least he is the first Republican presidential candidate to admit to evolution."
Maher on Hillary Clinton calling Dick Cheney "Darth Vader": "Which is very unfair, because Darth Vader would have caught bin Laden by now."
