Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani will not come out and say he is a practicing Catholic. How bad are things for the church when someone who is on his third marriage and doesn't speak to his kids is trying to distance himself from being Catholic?"
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "President Bush has left for vacation, and his poll numbers are going up. So, basically, people approve of the job he's doing more when he's not doing the job."
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "Mitt Romney said he 'misspoke' when he suggested that his sons' work on his presidential campaign was comparable to serving in the military in Iraq. Mainly because his sons actually have helmets and bulletproof vests."
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "During a debate sponsored by a gay group, Sen. Hillary Clinton was criticized because of her husband's 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. In response, Hillary said, 'Sorry, but our entire marriage is based on me not asking and him not telling.'"
Barach on Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' recent visit to Iraq: "Apparently he was looking to find a less hostile environ-ment than Washing-ton, D.C."
Craig Ferguson, "The Late, Late Show with Craig Ferguson": "There was a big flood in New York. A group of people floated to safety by making a raft out of Donald Trump's hair."
