In the current Orbit gum commercial, Snoop Dog goes to hell because of his dirty mouth. The gum fairy tells him he can clean up his mouth with Orbit peppermint gum.
Next thing you know, old Snoop Dog has arrived at the pearly gates of heaven.
Not wanting any trouble from the Federal Trade Commission, the company included this disclaimer:
*MOUSE PRINT: “Dramatization. Orbit gum will not get you into heaven.”
I meant to post this a few weeks ago, but just haven't had the chance until today. My brother recently began working at Drew University as a Communications Associate, reporting directly to the Chief Communications Officer there. I am really proud of him! I am willing to bet that within a few short years, he'll probably be writing speeches for the President of the United States ;) Anyway, he's very politically savvy, and to prove this, here are a few pictures of him with some very famous politicians:
Before the 2001 inauguration of George Bush, he was invited to a get acquainted tour of the White House. After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked Bill Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. When he entered Clinton's private toilet, he was astonished to see that president Clinton had a fancy solid gold urinal.
That afternoon, George told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am president, I could have a gold urinal too, but I wouldn't do something that self indulgence!"
Later when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been at his discovery of the fact that in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.
That evening, when Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed, Hillary smiled, and said to Bill, "I found out who pissed in your saxophone. "
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the freeway. Nothing is moving.
Suddenly a man knocks on the window. The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Mel Gibson. They're asking for a $310 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse him with gasoline and set him on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "Did you have the chance to see former President Bill Clinton on the Fox News show on Sunday? He got very upset. He went ballistic. He was loud. He was angry and confrontational. So Fox gave him a show."
Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher": "The Venezuelan president went to the UN and called Bush the devil. ... Bush said, 'I would love to answer your ridiculous charge that I'm the devil, but I'm a little too busy this week trying to unite my party behind torturing people.'"
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "The Pentagon said that 3,800 U.S. soldiers will be staying in Iraq about six weeks beyond their one-year combat tours. But that's only because it'll take security at least that long to go through their carry-on luggage."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "The No. 1 and No. 2 bestselling books on the Amazon list are attacks on President Bush. Both books call him incompetent and a liar. I tell you something, if President Bush read books, he'd be furious."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "Paris Hilton and boyfriend Stavros Niarchos are reportedly back together again. Without her, he felt an emptiness, a void in his life. In other words, it was like she never left."
Michael Feldman, public radio's "Whad'Ya Know?": "The president ordered a drop in gasoline prices so supporters could drive their SUVs to the polls for the midterm elections."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "A spinach scare grips the nation after being identified as the cause of a recent E. coli outbreak. Apparently, the expiration date on the package refers to the customer."
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "Earlier today at the [New York] public library, President Bush and the first lady gave a speech on literacy. Apparently, she was for it and he was against it."
Comedy writer Jim Barach on the husband of Republican candidate for New York Attorney General Jeanne Pirro being ticketed for speeding in a school zone: "For once a New York candidate has to apologize for her husband's behavior and it isn't Hillary."
Comedy writer Jake Novak on former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey's new autobiography titled "The Confession": "In it, he admits that the only thing more embarrassing than getting caught having a gay love affair was getting caught being the governor of New Jersey."
Comedy writer Bob Snyder: "The Russian government rejected a plan to send Madonna on a rocket to the International Space Station. Madonna tried everything to persuade them. She even offered to switch her phony British accent for a phony Russian accent."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "Britney Spears had a baby boy. When they informed her that the baby was born by Caesarean, she said, 'Thank Dr. Caesarean for me.'"
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "Hewlett-Packard chairwoman Patricia Dunn is stepping down after it was revealed she authorized spying on her fellow board members. She is expected to succeed Alberto Gonzales as U.S. attorney general by the end of the year."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "Former Vice President Al Gore said he may run again for president. Insiders say Gore wants to avenge his 2000 victory."
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "According to a survey conducted by the Harvard School of Public Health, the District of Columbia had the lowest life expectancy in the U.S. Especially at risk were Republicans come November."
Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart": "The big controversy, of course, is the 9/11 mini-series. ... People are upset that it's not accurate. Because, as you know, nothing is typically more accurate than the made-for-television movie."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice has compared the war in Iraq to the U.S. Civil War. There are differences, too. One deeply divided the country against itself, while the other happened in the 1860s."
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble because he said Cubans and Puerto Ricans are hot-blooded. Arnold said, 'Sorry. When I made those comments, I assumed no one would understand what I was saying.'"
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Good news: The price of gasoline continues to fall. It's dropped 15 cents over the last two weeks. Gas prices have dropped so much that Dick Cheney was put on suicide watch."
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: "According to a survey, almost 65 percent of Americans believe the war in Iraq has created more terrorists. That makes a lot of sense, considering how Bush's ratings have plummeted and anybody who disagrees with his administration is now called a terrorist."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "A new survey shows that one-third of the nation fears another 9/11-type attack. The other two-thirds fear going through an airport security check."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "Edvard Munch's famous 1893 painting, 'Madonna,' was reportedly recovered from thieves. However, experts aren't sure if it's authentic, since the painting now features Madonna in a cone bra."
Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher," on Karl Rove's recent weight loss: "He said the midterm elections are coming up, and he needs to get down to his smearing weight."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "This week Katie Couric begins as the anchor of the 'CBS Evening News.' Katie is the first solo female anchor. Pretty good, if you don't count the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels."
