You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
You just cant resist finishing this... "in West Philadelphia born and raised..."
You remember TGIF on ABC and wouldnt miss it.
You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tupac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.
You know that "Whoa" comes from Joey from "Blossom," and that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House."
You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
You begged for some GAK, and when you got that they came out with scented GAK, and when you got that they came out with funny scented GAK...
You remember reading "Goosebumps."
You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
You danced to "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. Females had a new motto; Males got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really, really want.)
You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books...
You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence... Not...
You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record "Your FAVORITE song of ALL time" with a tape recorder held up to the radio.
Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show. (And a cartoon!)
Captain Planet.
You remember when Super Nintendos became popular.
You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos... but never taped anything funny.
You remember watching "Home Alone" 1, 2 , and 3 and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
"I've fallen and I can't get up."
You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates
Two words... Trapper Keeper.
You wore socks over leggings scrunched down
You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.
Writing M.A.S.H. notes.
You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool.
You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell"
You played and/or collected "Pogs"
You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles
Yikes pencils and erasers were the shit!
All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. (Pencils. notebooks. Binders, etc.)
You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out.
You used to wear those stick on earrings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.
You remember a time before the WB. Ah, those were the days
You've been creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
You know the Macarena by heart.
"Talk to the hand" ... enough said.
You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
Hootie and the Blowfish!!
Teenage Mutant Nija Turtles were your shit and you always wondered what it would be like to hang out with Michaelangelo. Cowabunga!
When Vanilla Ice was actually cool.
You didn't miss your Snick on Nickelodeon every saturday night at 8pm.
Girls: when wearing those colored plastic animal hair clips were so cool!
When we were younger:
Before the MySpace frenzy...
Before the Internet & text messaging...
Before Sidekicks & iPods...
Before MIKE JONES... (Who?)
Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX...
...Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
When light up sneakers were cool.
When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.
When we called the radio station to request songs to hear on our walkmans.
When Tupac and Biggie where alive.
When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.
When we thought anything was possible
When we ruled the earth
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did"
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Darn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,
"WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
Amy Poehler, "Saturday Night Live": "The Traffic Safety Board in Nassau County ... has plans to introduce into area bars a talking urinal that tries to dissuade people from drinking and driving. The device wouldn't be installed until next week, so if you've already heard a urinal talk, congratulations - you're crazy!"
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien": "Vicente Fox, the president of Mexico, arrived in the United States recently for a state visit. Unfortunately, Fox was caught at the border and sent back to Mexico."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Louisiana congressman William Jefferson was videotaped accepting a $100,000 bribe. He said he will not resign, even though the FBI agents found $90,000 of it in his freezer. In Washington, that's known as a 'bribesicle.'"
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "Remember the president of the Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa? Well, he vanished and there were all these rumors and stories and myths about where he may be buried. It turns out that the FBI got a tip and now they're looking everywhere for Jimmy Hoffa. ... And I'm thinking, 'That's great, but what about Osama bin Laden?'"
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "Heather Locklear has split up with David Spade. Apparently, Locklear got tired of explaining to people why she was dating David Spade."
Earlier today my younger brother graduated from Drew University! I just wanted to congratulate Michael on not only graduating, but on graduating cum laude and being inducted into Alpha Kappa Delta (the Sociology Honor Society)! He graduated with a major in Sociology and a minor in Political Science and Religion. For those of you who are interested, see the link below for pictures and videos of the graduation ceremony and our party afterwards. Congrats Michael!
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "President Bush is proposing sending 6,000 National Guard troops to bolster patrols along the U.S.-Mexican border, or as he's calling it, 'No Juan Left Behind.'"
Comedy writer Janice Hough: "President Bush assured the American public last week that the government is not 'trolling through the personal lives of innocent Americans' by monitoring phone calls. He added that 'Fred Smith of Orlando had better not forget to pick up the milk again or his wife is going to divorce him.'"
Amy Poehler, "Saturday Night Live": "New Jersey has abandoned its slogan, 'Come See for Yourself,' after it was revealed that other states have used the same slogan. This doesn't bode well for New Jersey's newest slogan, 'I Love New York.'"
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "The U.S. has reestablished diplomatic relations with Libya. President Bush can't wait to get Moammar Gadhafi's thoughts on phone-tapping and imprisonment without trial."
Tina Fey, "Saturday Night Live": "A new satellite TV channel is being launched this week called Baby First TV, and will be featuring shows aimed at children from 6 months to 3 years of age, including the hit series, 'CSI: Poopy Town.'"
For those of you who don't know, I was recently offered a position with a company called IdeaVillage, and I accepted! My last day at MD-X Solutions, Inc. was friday (they had a nice going-away happy hour for me...and I'll miss everyone there but hopefully try and stay in touch with everyone there), and today was my first day at IdeaVillage. It's a much smaller company than MD-X, but I'm basically in charge of Information Technology at this new job. My official title is Systems Manager, which pretty aptly describes what I do...manage all their IT systems. It's also a lot closer to home for me (the company is in Fairfield, NJ, which is about 10 - 15 minutes from my house...vs. 45 mins - 1 hour for the MD-X commute). I already sent everyone my new contact information, but if you didn't get it, and want it (or want to contact me for anything else), just drop me a line. Wish me luck on my new job!
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "The director of the CIA, Porter Goss, resigned, surprisingly....He said he wanted to spend more time giving bad intelligence to his family."
Tina Fey, "Saturday Night Live": "While speaking in Atlanta [last] Thursday, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was repeatedly interrupted by angry protesters, with one woman shouting, 'This man needs to be imprisoned for war crimes.' What makes it worse is that he was speaking at a Rumsfeld family reunion."
Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher": "[Ted Kennedy's son] Patrick Kennedy...crashed his car and he said he doesn't remember anything about the accident, except a huge sense of relief when he came to and he wasn't soaking wet."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "President Bush told a German newspaper in an interview over the weekend that his best moment since he became president was when he caught a 7 1/2-pound fish in his own lake. See, sometimes these Bush fishing expeditions can pay off."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "Seven out of 10 people say they are feeling the pinch of high gas prices. The other three have bought siphoning equipment."
Fey on the news that Rosie O'Donnell will replace Meredith Vieira on 'The View' in September: "The show will now be called, 'The Obstructed View.'"
A while ago, I started to upload all of my photos to Yahoo! Photos in order to preserve them and share them with everyone. Unfortunately, Yahoo! Photos sucks, and storing my photos there wasn't really a good solution. Then of course there was the great computer Crash of 04 (definitely not one of my better days) in which I lost quite a lot of my saved photos (and quite a lot more too). So, the whole online photo album project kind of got put on hold for a while.
However, I've recently been able to pick up this project of mine and find a much better place to host all my photos (and videos as well). For the past few months, I've been testing it out and while I haven't made it official yet, some of you have already discovered it. So, while I haven't gotten around to uploading all of my saved photos and videos yet (I'll hopefully be able to finish this soon), I figured I might as well let everyone know about my new:
The photo/video album is being hosted by MyPhotoAlbum.com (with some of the videos hosted by ZippyVideos.com - soon to be transitioned to MyPhotoAlbum). MyPhotoAlbum offers a lot of little goodies, such as
the ability to rate (vote) photos
the ability to post comments on photos
the ability to tag photos (adding searchable tags/keywords)
searching
purchasing hard copies of photos in numerous different ways
slideshow capability
full-size downloads of all photos
and much much more...
Feel free to look through the new Photo/Video Album and use some of the new features (and check out the videos available on some of the albums too).
By the way, can't you tell how much I love the little flashing "new" graphics ;)
Outrage and disbelief as world soccer body condemns Israel, not Hamas
Israel is used to being singled out for unjust criticism and subjected to startling double standards by the United Nations, the European Union, much of the western media and numerous academic bodies. But now FIFA — the supposedly non-political organization that governs the world's most popular sport, soccer — is getting in on the act as well.
FIFA has condemned Israel for an air strike on an empty soccer field in the Gaza Strip that was used for training exercises by Islamic Jihad and the al-Aqsa martyrs brigade. This strike did not cause any injuries. But at the same time FIFA has refused to condemn a Palestinian rocket attack on an Israeli soccer field last week which did cause injuries.
Lawyer: Do you know how far pregnant you are now? Witness: I'll be three months on November 8. Lawyer: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8? Witness: Yes. Lawyer: What were you doing at that time?
Lawyer: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and was able, for the time being excluding all restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station? Opposing Counsel: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.
Lawyer: Gary, all your answer must be oral, okay? Now, what school did you go to? Gary: Oral.
Three Lies Judges tell I'm overworked. I'm underpaid. I was a great trial lawyer.
It was an outstanding case in a small western mining town. Joe was brought in on an assault charge. The state presented the weapons he used: a huge telegraph pole, a dagger, a pair of shears, a saw, a gun and a Civil War saber. Counsel for the defense produced the weapons used by the alleged victim to defend himself: a scythe, a hoe, an ax, a shovel and a pair of tongs. After deliberating, the 12 men of the jury filed in slowly and the foreman read the verdict? "We the jury would give $5 to have seen the fight."
What happens when you cross a Critical Legal Studies Deconstructionist with a Mafioso? He makes you an offer that you can't understand.
Jury of Lawyers A judge in a semi-small city was hearing a drunk-driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence, demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p.m. and getting a jury would take time, so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.
The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury-room, the judge started getting ready to go home, and everyone waited.
After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff into the jury-room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said, "Well have they got a verdict yet?"
The bailiff shook his head and said, "Verdict? Hell, they're still doing nominating speeches for the foreman's position!"
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night,when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, "I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try, for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you will make embarrasing sums of money. All I want in exchange is your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, the souls of your parents, grandparents, and parents-in-law, and the souls of all of your friends and law partners. The lawyer thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So what's the catch?"
Well...I know all of you immensely enjoy reading all the stupid things I post up here, and now, not only can you view them on the site, but you can be instantly notified whenever I post something new! That's right, you can now subscribe to my site and receive an email with the contents of each and every new post on this site.
To subscribe to my site and receive email updates, simply browse to Mailing List Control Panel and subscribe, and you will soon be receiving utterly moronic (though highly funny) posts by email.
Please let me know if you experience any problems with this new system. Thanks, and enjoy!
For a long time now, when browsing to my site (regardless of what URL you used), you would see a page informing you that the URL for my site had changed and the new URL was www.marcbressman.com. I'm hopeful that at this point everyone is using that new URL address to get to my site. As a result, I've removed this reminder page, and now browsing to www.marcbressman.com will take you directly to my site. Let me know if you experience any problems. Thanks.
By Tom Krazit Staff Writer, CNET News.com Published: March 1, 2006, 4:00 AM PST
Technology is a wonderful thing, when it works. Just as cars run reliably but lawn mowers never start, many people wonder why humans are capable of creating amazing technology but can't make PCs that average people can understand.
As a result, demand for PC support services is booming even as retailers and PC vendors pare down their standard warranties. Fed up with pleasant but unsatisfying support answers, PC users are increasingly willing to pay for support from those companies. Third-party PC support is becoming big business, with Best Buy aggressively promoting the services of the Geek Squad and vendors like Dell jumping to provide their own touch.
I also can't resist a bit of shameless self-promotion here ;) If you are in need of any sort of PC/Computer Support or Services, please check out Falcon Computer Consulting
By Graeme Wearden Special to CNET News.com Published: March 10, 2006, 10:56 AM PST
HANNOVER, Germany--A USB memory stick coated in gold and studded with five diamonds has been launched.
The glitzy memory stick, shown at the CeBit trade fair here this week, comes with up to 2GB of memory and can be coated in either 14-carat or 18-carat gold. The diamonds are optional.
Pricing varies depending on whether customers need the full 18 carats of gold or opt for the sparkly version. A 1GB version with 14-carat gold coating and five diamonds costs in excess of 2,000 pounds (about $3,500).
For all of those who have gotten Lasik eye surgery (like me), or have been interested in getting it....or just want a good laugh, check out this site: LASIK@Home.
Pretty ridiculous, and even more so is the fact that I imagine some people would actually think this is a real product ;)
