Comedy writer Alan Ray: "President Bush says Iraq is not having a civil war. It's just part of the growth of democracy. He sees it as Shia and Sunnis exercising their rights to bear arms."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "Security's so bad for the Bush twins the U.S. embassy has asked them to leave Argentina, and they said no. Like father, like daughters - they have no exit strategy."
David Letterman, "Late Show With David Letterman": "Vice President Dick Cheney visited Saudi Arabia over the weekend, and he's very popular in Saudi Arabia. Over there, he's known as Lawrence of Arrhythmia."
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "Mayor Bloomberg says it's 'unacceptable' that police fired 50 shots and killed an unarmed man after his vehicle slammed into a car filled with undercover cops. Of course, if the victim had hit a car filled with civilians in the city, they would have shot him 50 more times."
Comedy writer Jim Barach on the celebrities who showed up to help serve Thanksgiving dinner to the homeless in Los Angeles: "One of the most touching moments was when Britney Spears personally served up a dinner to Kevin Federline."
Ray on Wal-Mart opening stores in India: "Talk about different cultures. One was founded on a caste system of nobles and lower-income servants. The other is a country."
