Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "New York has agreed to allow trans-gendered people to use any bathroom they want at subway stations. This is unbelievable - people in New York use subway bathrooms?"
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show:" "Do you believe how self-destructive this Congress has become? This upcoming election is not an election, it's an intervention."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "The U.S. now has 300 million people. We should reach 400 million by 2043. Researchers say by then one out of four white Americans will be elderly, and one out of four citizens will be Hispanic. In other words, we will turn into the United States of Miami."
Kaseberg on the World Series: "The last time the St. Louis Cardinals and the Detroit Tigers were in the World Series was 1968. Things were a lot different back then: The Rolling Stones were on tour, Jack Nicholson had a hit movie, and we were embroiled in an unpopular war."
Comedy writer Jake Novak, on Sen. Hillary Clinton's election foe John Spencer's telling a reporter she had "millions of dollars" in plastic surgery: "If it were true, those doctors would have a heck of a malpractice suit on their hands."
Conan O'Brien: "A consumer watch group has released its annual list of the most dangerous Halloween costumes. Apparently, the most dangerous thing for kids to wear this year is a congressional page blazer."
