Comedy writer Jake Novak: "Experts say John Mark Karr boasted about killing JonBenet Ramsey to fulfill a sick fantasy that he really knew her. OK, that explains Karr, but what's CNN's excuse?"
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show": "There's a hurricane watch for Tropical Storm Ernesto. Let me tell you something, these hurricanes are getting smart. They know a Hispanic hurricane has a better chance of getting into the country."
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: "Running back Kevan Barlow compared San Francisco 49ers coach Mike Nolan to Adolf Hitler after Barlow was traded to the New York Jets. He has a point: Going to the Jets is the NFL equivalent of being sent to the Russian Front."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "College football begins Saturday. How do you stop an Auburn Tiger from advancing? Hand him a textbook."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman," on the astronomers who voted Pluto out of the solar system: "If Pluto loses, it will run as an independent."
Comedy writer Jim Barach on a federal judge's blocking Northwest Airlines flight attendants from going on strike: "Without flight attendants, who would serve the pilots their drinks?"
Novak on Rep. Katherine Harris' telling a religious newspaper in Florida the "separation of church and state in America is a lie": "She ought to know. When she let George W. Bush win Florida in 2000, she made a deal with the devil."
