Comedy writer Alan Ray: "Andy Card has resigned as White House chief of staff. He was the one aide who was not afraid to bring Dubya bad news about evil doers: 'Mr. President, Helen Thomas is in the room.'"
Jon Stewart, "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart," on the new White House Chief of Staff Joshua Bolten: "[He's] been working in the White House for Bush's entire presidency ... and for the last three years has been in charge of the Office of Management and Budget. In other words, [Bush] just gave a promotion to the guy who was in charge of our $9 trillion debt."
Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher": "The president's mother, Barbara Bush, donated tax-deductible money to Katrina relief after the flood, and now we find out that it was with specific instructions that the money be spent for educational software owned by her son Neil. Because who can forget those tragic images of the poor black people on the rooftop in New Orleans, holding up signs that said, 'Send educational software.'"
Comedy writer Rob Bates: "'Today Show' host Katie Couric recently stirred controversy when she called Wal-Mart 'as American as apple pie.' She later added, 'if the apple pie was manufactured in China.'"
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman," on the upcoming hurricane season: "President Bush is already stockpiling excuses."
