Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher," on the congressional report that criticized the White House for wasting billions of dollars in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina: "Bush said history will call that a small price to pay if we wind up bringing democracy to Louisiana."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman": "This just in: ... Bode Miller has just tested negative for gold medals."
Michael Feldman, public radio's "Whad'Ya Know?": "Looking at a ratings disaster, the Olympic committee decides to make 'American Idol' an Olympic event."
Comedy writer Alan Ray: "Spring training has begun in baseball. Loyalty is always a factor in contract negotiations. Throughout his career, the average player would really like to stay with the same agent."
Comedy writer Jake Novak: "A new poll shows that businesses in New York are having trouble finding decent workers. But that poll is misleading because the only employers surveyed were the owners of the Knicks and the Jets."
Comedy writer Jim Barach: "U.S. airlines lost an average of 10,000 luggage bags a day last year. The only thing they are better at losing is money."
