Michael Feldman, public radio's "Whad'Ya Know?": "Sen. Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania, the conscience of the right, said that people who don't heed future evacuation orders should be penalized if something worse than what they're going through can be found."
Bill Maher, "Real Time with Bill Maher," on assistance for Hurricane Katrina victims: "A Mexican army convoy crossed over the border this week to give us aid and water. Boy, you know your country's in trouble when the Mexicans are bringing you drinkable water."
Jay Leno, "The Tonight Show," on Michael Brown's resignation as head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency: "I think they knew he was a little slow. They gave him a year and a half to clean out his desk."
David Letterman, "Late Show with David Letterman," on John Roberts' confirmation hearings: "It can be a little dull, so they've changed the format. For example, he has to give his answers in the form of a question."
Conan O'Brien, "Late Night with Conan O'Brien":
"Disney opened its first-ever theme park in China. More than 10,000 children showed up on opening day, and that was just to make the T- shirts."
Comedy writer Matt Passet: "Frozen dessert franchise Tasti D-Lite was fined by New York City for misrepresenting its product as low- calorie and cholesterol-free. I guess their secret ingredient was ice cream."
