Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “Big controversy after State Department officials looked at passport files for the three major candidates. Turns out they got ahold of John McCain’s Social Security number. Know what it is? Three.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was charged with perjury and misconduct stemming from a sex scandal. Kilpatrick’s political future in Detroit is bleak, but his chances of becoming the next governor of New York are excellent.”
Comedy writer Jim Barach: “Former Fed chief Alan Greenspan says the U.S. is in the worst financial mess since World War II. President Bush says he will fix that by getting us into World War III.”
Bill Maher, “Real Time With Bill Maher,” on the controversy involving Barack Obama and the Rev. Jeremiah Wright: “The thing is, Republicans, of course, don’t allow dangerous religious freaks to advise their campaigns. They nominate them.”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “Wall Street is in turmoil these days. How can you spot a senior broker at Merrill Lynch? He gets his own private window ledge.”
Comedy writer Patrick Gorse: “Pundit James Carville called New Mexico Gov. and Clinton intimate Bill Richardson’s Easter-week endorsement of Barack Obama an ‘act of betrayal,’ comparing the timing of the announcement to Judas selling out ‘for 30 pieces of silver.’ Actually, Richardson got 30 gallons of gas.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com