Comedy writer Janice Hough: “Who said Democrats are the big spenders? Rudy Giuliani apparently billed taxpayers for the cost of his security detail traveling to Southampton while he dallied with his then-mistress, Judith Nathan. At least with Bill Clinton, the Secret Service didn’t have to leave the White House.”
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: “According to the latest numbers, our country’s national debt is growing by $1 million every minute. The Bush administration called its best economists and came up with a solution to save money: A 23-hour day.”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “Vladimir Putin’s political party has won parliamentary elections in Russia. They claim a clear mandate. In the entire election campaign they didn’t have to poison one opponent.”
Michael Feldman, public radio’s “Whad’Ya Know?”: “In the Republican debate, [Mitt] Romney washboards [John] McCain; candidates reach consensus gay aliens should be tortured after they finish the lawn.”
Comedy writer Jake Novak on the end of the Broadway strike: “So from now on, anyone you see singing and dancing on the streets outside the theater is actually a crazy person.”
Bartes on a feral cat which survived 19 days with its head stuck in a jar: “That’s nothing. President Bush has survived living in a bubble since 2004.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com