Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “Idaho Sen. Larry Craig announced he would voluntarily give up his seat. Isn’t that how he got in trouble in the first place?”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “White House spokesman Tony Snow is quitting. His job was to vigorously promote and defend the Bush administration. Then he left Fox News, and went to work for the president.”
Conan O’Brien, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”: “Fred Thompson, a former star of ‘Law & Order,’ confirmed with his supporters that he is running for president. Afterwards, he promised to solve the crisis in Iraq by the end of the episode.”
Comedy writer Jim Barach: “A Zogby poll says that 54 percent of Americans believe the Iraq war has not been lost. Coincidentally, these are the same people who have subprime mortgages.”
Bill Maher, “Real Time With Bill Maher,” on the Government Accountability Office report on Iraq: “They say Iraq has failed to meet 15 of the 18 benchmarks they had to meet. To give you an idea of how pathetic that is, Lindsay Lohan is doing better in rehab.”
David Letterman, “Late Show With David Letterman”: “Leona Helmsley left her dog $12 million. The dog is a tiny Maltese, or as Michael Vick calls it, ‘an appetizer.’”
Comedy writer Matt Passet: “The U.S. Open’s been going on. I haven’t seen this many white people in one place since the Republican convention.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com