Comedy writer Patrick Gorse: “President Bush’s approval rating is so low, the only thing he’s still above is the law.”
Jon Stewart, “The Daily Show With Jon Stewart,” on President Bush’s progress report on Iraq noting that Iraqis have made progress on 8 out of 18 benchmarks: “Yes! There you have it, 8 of 18, otherwise known as ‘a Gentleman’s F.’”
Comedy writer Jake Novak: “The U.S. Senate debated the Iraq war Tuesday in an all-night session. It’s not clear if the senators were trying to stand up to President Bush or just prove to their wives that they weren’t using an escort service.”
Conan O’Brien, “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”: Former “Virginia governor Jim Gilmore has dropped out of the race for the Republican presidential nomination. He said he dropped out because ‘I don’t have the star power of a Tom Tancredo or a Mike Huckabee.’ “
Comedy writer Janice Hough: “So, despite great name recognition, and good initial funding, John McCain’s presidential campaign is fading fast. Who knew that his ‘Straight Talk Express’ would go the way of Amtrak?”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “In Washington, D.C., a gun-wielding thief broke into a dinner party. After he was served wine, he put the gun away, gave everyone a hug and left without incident. Needless to say, the wine was French.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com