Comedy writer Richard Siegelman on President Bush’s commuting Scooter Libby’s prison sentence: “Our commander-in-chief has now become our commuter-in-chief.”
Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “Hey, did you see all those doctors last week involved in the terrorist attack at the Glasgow Airport? How scary was that? You thought the doctors at your HMO were bad.”
Comedy writer Jake Novak: “U.S. Sen. David Vitter [R.-La.] is expressing severe embarrassment after telephone records linked him to a notorious D.C. madam. … Apparently he thought she was a lobbyist.”
Comedy writer Jim Barach: “Anti-war protesters are refusing to pay taxes. … Tax experts are advising them that if they don’t want to pay taxes, they just need to make more than $200,000 a year.”
Conan O’Brien, “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”: “Miss New Jersey is claiming that someone has embarrassing photos of her and is trying to blackmail her. Apparently, the embarrassing photos show her in a sash that reads ‘New Jersey.’”
Michael Feldman, public radio’s “Whad’Ya Know?”: “Many believe the iPhone is the Seventh Seal prophesied in the Bible, marking the coming of the iPocalypse.”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “A new list of the Seven Wonders of the World has been chosen. Included are standard puzzlements like the Taj Mahal and the Great Wall of China. New on the list: Attorney General Alberto Gonzales.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com