David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman”: “This is the time of the year everybody’s getting ready for the holidays. Earlier today, Dick Cheney brought home a Christmas tree that he shot.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Sen. Hillary Clinton is asking fellow lawmakers if she should run for president in 2008. The good news is she is getting encouragement to run from key legislators. The bad news is they’re Republicans.”
Michael Feldman, public radio’s “Whad’Ya Know?”: “President Bush intends to remain in Iraq, whether the troops go or not. He’s already picked up 40 acres outside Basra for Prairie Chapel Ranch-East. Laura’s not real happy, but is dutifully working on the sampler.”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “Hugo Chavez was re-elected in Venezuela. His success baffles the U.S. How can a control freak, who won’t listen to others and doesn’t care about his image overseas, ever get elected president?”
Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “The federal government has a new citizenship test. They said the old test for immigrants is too outdated. Apparently, it was in English.”
Comedy writer Rob Bates: “Lewis Hamilton was recently chosen to become the first black driver in Formula One racing. His first race was interrupted when a cop pulled him over.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com