David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman”: “Did you have the chance to see former President Bill Clinton on the Fox News show on Sunday? He got very upset. He went ballistic. He was loud. He was angry and confrontational. So Fox gave him a show.”
Bill Maher, “Real Time with Bill Maher”: “The Venezuelan president went to the UN and called Bush the devil. … Bush said, ‘I would love to answer your ridiculous charge that I’m the devil, but I’m a little too busy this week trying to unite my party behind torturing people.’”
Comedy writer Jake Novak: “The Pentagon said that 3,800 U.S. soldiers will be staying in Iraq about six weeks beyond their one-year combat tours. But that’s only because it’ll take security at least that long to go through their carry-on luggage.”
Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “The No. 1 and No. 2 bestselling books on the Amazon list are attacks on President Bush. Both books call him incompetent and a liar. I tell you something, if President Bush read books, he’d be furious.”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “Paris Hilton and boyfriend Stavros Niarchos are reportedly back together again. Without her, he felt an emptiness, a void in his life. In other words, it was like she never left.”
Michael Feldman, public radio’s “Whad’Ya Know?”: “The president ordered a drop in gasoline prices so supporters could drive their SUVs to the polls for the midterm elections.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com