Comedy writer Alan Ray: “A spinach scare grips the nation after being identified as the cause of a recent E. coli outbreak. Apparently, the expiration date on the package refers to the customer.”
Conan O’Brien, “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”: “Earlier today at the [New York] public library, President Bush and the first lady gave a speech on literacy. Apparently, she was for it and he was against it.”
Comedy writer Jim Barach on the husband of Republican candidate for New York Attorney General Jeanne Pirro being ticketed for speeding in a school zone: “For once a New York candidate has to apologize for her husband’s behavior and it isn’t Hillary.”
Comedy writer Jake Novak on former New Jersey Gov. Jim McGreevey’s new autobiography titled “The Confession”: “In it, he admits that the only thing more embarrassing than getting caught having a gay love affair was getting caught being the governor of New Jersey.”
Comedy writer Bob Snyder: “The Russian government rejected a plan to send Madonna on a rocket to the International Space Station. Madonna tried everything to persuade them. She even offered to switch her phony British accent for a phony Russian accent.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Britney Spears had a baby boy. When they informed her that the baby was born by Caesarean, she said, ‘Thank Dr. Caesarean for me.’”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com