Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “Good news: The price of gasoline continues to fall. It’s dropped 15 cents over the last two weeks. Gas prices have dropped so much that Dick Cheney was put on suicide watch.”
Comedy writer Pedro Bartes: “According to a survey, almost 65 percent of Americans believe the war in Iraq has created more terrorists. That makes a lot of sense, considering how Bush’s ratings have plummeted and anybody who disagrees with his administration is now called a terrorist.”
Comedy writer Jim Barach: “A new survey shows that one-third of the nation fears another 9/11-type attack. The other two-thirds fear going through an airport security check.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Edvard Munch’s famous 1893 painting, ‘Madonna,’ was reportedly recovered from thieves. However, experts aren’t sure if it’s authentic, since the painting now features Madonna in a cone bra.”
Bill Maher, “Real Time with Bill Maher,” on Karl Rove’s recent weight loss: “He said the midterm elections are coming up, and he needs to get down to his smearing weight.”
David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman”: “This week Katie Couric begins as the anchor of the ‘CBS Evening News.’ Katie is the first solo female anchor. Pretty good, if you don’t count the two years Tom Brokaw worked in a skirt and heels.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com