Amy Poehler, “Saturday Night Live”: “The Traffic Safety Board in Nassau County … has plans to introduce into area bars a talking urinal that tries to dissuade people from drinking and driving. The device wouldn’t be installed until next week, so if you’ve already heard a urinal talk, congratulations – you’re crazy!”
Conan O’Brien, “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”: “Vicente Fox, the president of Mexico, arrived in the United States recently for a state visit. Unfortunately, Fox was caught at the border and sent back to Mexico.”
Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “Louisiana congressman William Jefferson was videotaped accepting a $100,000 bribe. He said he will not resign, even though the FBI agents found $90,000 of it in his freezer. In Washington, that’s known as a ‘bribesicle.’”
David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman”: “Remember the president of the Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa? Well, he vanished and there were all these rumors and stories and myths about where he may be buried. It turns out that the FBI got a tip and now they’re looking everywhere for Jimmy Hoffa. … And I’m thinking, ‘That’s great, but what about Osama bin Laden?’”
Comedy writer Jake Novak: “Heather Locklear has split up with David Spade. Apparently, Locklear got tired of explaining to people why she was dating David Spade.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com