You’re a 90′s kid if:

You’ve ever ended a sentence with the word “PSYCHE!”

You just cant resist finishing this… “in West Philadelphia born and raised…”

You remember TGIF on ABC and wouldnt miss it.

You remember when Kurt Cobain, Tupac, River Phoenix, and Selena died.

You know that “Whoa” comes from Joey from “Blossom,” and that “How Rude!” comes from Stephanie from “Full House.”

You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.

You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.

You begged for some GAK, and when you got that they came out with scented GAK, and when you got that they came out with funny scented GAK…

You remember reading “Goosebumps.”

You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.

You danced to “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls. Females had a new motto; Males got a whole lot gay-er. (so tell me what you want, what you really, really want.)

You remember the craze, then the banning of slap bracelets and slam books…

You still get the urge to say “NOT” after (almost) every sentence… Not…

You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record “Your FAVORITE song of ALL time” with a tape recorder held up to the radio.

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego? was both a game and a TV game show. (And a cartoon!)

Captain Planet.

You remember when Super Nintendos became popular.

You always wanted to send in a tape to America’s Funniest Home Videos… but never taped anything funny.

You remember watching “Home Alone” 1, 2 , and 3 and tried to pull the pranks on “intruders”

“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

Two words… Trapper Keeper.

You wore socks over leggings scrunched down

You remember boom boxes vs. CD players.

Writing M.A.S.H. notes.

You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool.

You knew all the characters names and their life stories on “Saved By The Bell”

You played and/or collected “Pogs”

You watched the original Care Bears, My Little Pony, and Ninja Turtles

Yikes pencils and erasers were the shit!

All your school supplies were “Lisa Frank” brand. (Pencils. notebooks. Binders, etc.)

You remember when the new Beanie Babies and talking Elmo were always sold out.

You used to wear those stick on earrings, not only on your ears, but at the corners of your eyes.

You remember a time before the WB. Ah, those were the days

You’ve been creeped out by “Are You Afraid of the Dark?”

You know the Macarena by heart.

“Talk to the hand” … enough said.

You always said, “Then why don’t you marry it!”

Hootie and the Blowfish!!

Teenage Mutant Nija Turtles were your shit and you always wondered what it would be like to hang out with Michaelangelo. Cowabunga!

When Vanilla Ice was actually cool.

You didn’t miss your Snick on Nickelodeon every saturday night at 8pm.

Girls: when wearing those colored plastic animal hair clips were so cool!

When we were younger:

Before the MySpace frenzy…

Before the Internet & text messaging…

Before Sidekicks & iPods…

Before MIKE JONES… (Who?)

Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX…

…Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.

When light up sneakers were cool.

When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.

When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.

When we recorded stuff on VCRs & paid $3.50 for a movie.

When we called the radio station to request songs to hear on our walkmans.

When Tupac and Biggie where alive.

When the Chicago Bulls were the best team ever.

When we thought anything was possible

When we ruled the earth

Way back.

Before we realized all this would eventually disappear

Who would have thought you’d miss the 90′s so much!

Kinda funny…but what is wrong with the wife???

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.”

The driver says, “Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.”

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: “Now don’t be silly dear, you know that this car doesn’t have cruise control.”

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, “Can’t you please keep your mouth shut for once?”

The wife smiles demurely and says, “You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did”

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit,
the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, “Darn it, woman, can’t you keep your mouth shut?”

The officer frowns and says, “And I notice that you’re not wearing your seat belt, sir. That’s an automatic $75 fine.”

The driver says, “Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.”

The wife says, “Now, dear, you know very well that you didn’t have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you’re driving.”

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks,

“WHY DON’T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??”

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, “Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma’am?”

(I love this part…)

“Only when he’s been drinking.”

Amy Poehler, “Saturday Night Live”: “The Traffic Safety Board in Nassau County … has plans to introduce into area bars a talking urinal that tries to dissuade people from drinking and driving. The device wouldn’t be installed until next week, so if you’ve already heard a urinal talk, congratulations – you’re crazy!”

Conan O’Brien, “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”: “Vicente Fox, the president of Mexico, arrived in the United States recently for a state visit. Unfortunately, Fox was caught at the border and sent back to Mexico.”

Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “Louisiana congressman William Jefferson was videotaped accepting a $100,000 bribe. He said he will not resign, even though the FBI agents found $90,000 of it in his freezer. In Washington, that’s known as a ‘bribesicle.’”

David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman”: “Remember the president of the Teamsters, Jimmy Hoffa? Well, he vanished and there were all these rumors and stories and myths about where he may be buried. It turns out that the FBI got a tip and now they’re looking everywhere for Jimmy Hoffa. … And I’m thinking, ‘That’s great, but what about Osama bin Laden?’”

Comedy writer Jake Novak: “Heather Locklear has split up with David Spade. Apparently, Locklear got tired of explaining to people why she was dating David Spade.”

Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com

Earlier today my younger brother graduated from Drew University! I just wanted to congratulate Michael on not only graduating, but on graduating cum laude and being inducted into Alpha Kappa Delta (the Sociology Honor Society)! He graduated with a major in Sociology and a minor in Political Science and Religion. For those of you who are interested, see the link below for pictures and videos of the graduation ceremony and our party afterwards. Congrats Michael!

Michael’s College Graduation and Party Photo & Video Album

10. Post office wall has several photos of you sleeping

9. Your houseplant occasionally sneezes

8. Domino’s keeps delivering to unmarked van parked across the street

7. Birthday card from your mom has several words blacked out

6. You get nominated for “Outstanding Lead Performance in an NSA
Surveillance Video”

5. Your dishwasher functions are “Wash,” “Rinse” and “Record”

4. Local news only reporting things that happen in your living room

3. Every time you say goodbye on the phone, you hear a strange voice
say, “Roger that, Chico”

2. You googled a recipe for humus and the FBI raided your house

1. Suddenly discover there’s an antenna bolted to your ass

Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “President Bush is proposing sending 6,000 National Guard troops to bolster patrols along the U.S.-Mexican border, or as he’s calling it, ‘No Juan Left Behind.’”

Comedy writer Janice Hough: “President Bush assured the American public last week that the government is not ‘trolling through the personal lives of innocent Americans’ by monitoring phone calls. He added that ‘Fred Smith of Orlando had better not forget to pick up the milk again or his wife is going to divorce him.’”

Amy Poehler, “Saturday Night Live”: “New Jersey has abandoned its slogan, ‘Come See for Yourself,’ after it was revealed that other states have used the same slogan. This doesn’t bode well for New Jersey’s newest slogan, ‘I Love New York.’”

Comedy writer Jake Novak: “The U.S. has reestablished diplomatic relations with Libya. President Bush can’t wait to get Moammar Gadhafi’s thoughts on phone-tapping and imprisonment without trial.”

Tina Fey, “Saturday Night Live”: “A new satellite TV channel is being launched this week called Baby First TV, and will be featuring shows aimed at children from 6 months to 3 years of age, including the hit series, ‘CSI: Poopy Town.’”

Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com

For those of you who don’t know, I was recently offered a position with a company called IdeaVillage, and I accepted! My last day at MD-X Solutions, Inc. was friday (they had a nice going-away happy hour for me…and I’ll miss everyone there but hopefully try and stay in touch with everyone there), and today was my first day at IdeaVillage. It’s a much smaller company than MD-X, but I’m basically in charge of Information Technology at this new job. My official title is Systems Manager, which pretty aptly describes what I do…manage all their IT systems. It’s also a lot closer to home for me (the company is in Fairfield, NJ, which is about 10 – 15 minutes from my house…vs. 45 mins – 1 hour for the MD-X commute). I already sent everyone my new contact information, but if you didn’t get it, and want it (or want to contact me for anything else), just drop me a line. Wish me luck on my new job!

Talk to everyone soon!

Al Gore Presidency SNL Skit – 5/14/06

Watch Video

Andy Dick as “The Presidential Speechalist”

Watch Video

Will Ferrell: Bush on Global Warming

Watch Video

Will Ferrell spoofs the big guy as he mends fences and runs from horses back home.

Click Here if you have trouble viewing video above

David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman”: “The director of the CIA, Porter Goss, resigned, surprisingly….He said he wanted to spend more time giving bad intelligence to his family.”

Tina Fey, “Saturday Night Live”: “While speaking in Atlanta [last] Thursday, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld was repeatedly interrupted by angry protesters, with one woman shouting, ‘This man needs to be imprisoned for war crimes.’ What makes it worse is that he was speaking at a Rumsfeld family reunion.”

Bill Maher, “Real Time with Bill Maher”: “[Ted Kennedy's son] Patrick Kennedy…crashed his car and he said he doesn’t remember anything about the accident, except a huge sense of relief when he came to and he wasn’t soaking wet.”

Jay Leno, “The Tonight Show”: “President Bush told a German newspaper in an interview over the weekend that his best moment since he became president was when he caught a 7 1/2-pound fish in his own lake. See, sometimes these Bush fishing expeditions can pay off.”

Comedy writer Jim Barach: “Seven out of 10 people say they are feeling the pinch of high gas prices. The other three have bought siphoning equipment.”

Fey on the news that Rosie O’Donnell will replace Meredith Vieira on ‘The View’ in September: “The show will now be called, ‘The Obstructed View.’”

Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com