Comedy writer Jake Novak: “Zacarias Moussaoui’s ex-roommate, Hussein al-Attas, says he and Moussaoui were like the ‘Odd Couple.’ Apparently, al-Attas was the neat and clean one, and Moussaoui was the one trying to build a dirty bomb.”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “The exhibition season continues in Florida and Arizona. David Wells is using this time to improve his game. Yesterday, he pitched a complete inning without a single hot dog.”
David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman”: “You can always tell when it turns to spring in New York. That’s when carjackers come in through the sun roof.”
Novak on the NCAA tournament: “Americans can’t get enough, even though most fans couldn’t tell you where many of the schools’ campuses are. Unfortunately, neither can most of the players.”
Comedy writer Matt Passet: “According to a new survey, smoking among teenagers in NYC is on the decline. Well, of course – they can’t smoke in bars anymore.”
Bill Maher, “Real Time with Bill Maher,” on singer Jessica Simpson’s cancellation of a visit to the White House: “Bush apparently feels snubbed, and he’s not taking it lying down. Today, he threatened to cancel the next state dinner with the Duke and Duchess of Hazzard.”
Letterman on Donald Trump’s wife giving birth: “Thank God, now I am not the oldest father in New York.”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com