Comedy writer Matt Passet: “Madame Tussaud’s wax museum in New York City has a new statue of Hillary Clinton. Apparently the statue looks so real, when Bill Clinton saw it, he immediately lied to it.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “The Minnesota Timberwolves’ Kevin Garnett was ejected after he angrily threw a ball into the stands and hit a fan. That would never happen to the New York Knicks. They don’t have enough fans to hit, and couldn’t even if they did.”
Bill Maher, “Real Time with Bill Maher”: “All-out civil war has broken out in Iraq, and the Bush administration is furious. They said, ‘How dare you start a war in the middle of our war!’”
Jon Stewart, “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,” on the brouhaha over the ports deal: “If you’re wondering why Dubai is being rewarded with this contract, it is not because Dubai is a monarchy that offers its guest workers no rights, or because Dubai was the home base for two of the 9/11 hijackers. It’s actually just quid pro quo because they took Michael Jackson off our hands.”
Comedy writer Jake Novak: “Britney Spears was in New Orleans to cele- brate Mardi Gras Tuesday. Really, haven’t the people there suffered enough?”
Courtesy of Ken Rasak and Newsday.com