Tina Fey, “Saturday Night Live”: “Epiphanny Prince, a 17-year-old New York girl, broke the city’s high school girls’ basketball scoring record when she scored 113 points in a game this week, leading her team to a 137-132 victory. To be fair, they were playing the Knicks.”
David Letterman, “Late Show With David Letterman”: “Hillary Clinton apparently now has a huge diamond ring. So I guess Bill’s dating again.”
Comedy writer Alex Kaseberg: “Republican Missouri Congress-man Roy Blunt Jr. blamed his loss for House majority leader on the media. In fact, Blunt whined and complained so much, Al Gore and John Kerry named him an honorary Democrat.”
Conan O’Brien, “Late Night with Conan O’Brien”: “General Motors announced this week that it’s cutting the salaries of its top executives. Industry experts say that GM executives will be earning so little they’ll be forced to drive GM cars.”
Comedy writer Jim Barach: “Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas’ autobiography has been delayed. It was supposed to come out last year but has been pushed back to 2007. It will be available just as soon as Justice Scalia finishes writing it.”
Letterman on photos showing Britney Spears driving with her baby in her lap: “Here’s the weird part: In the baby seat next to her was Kevin Federline.”