Ok…this might just prove how stupid I am…but I think this is hysterical:
Start by using the right and left arrow keys to turn and the up arrow key to accelerate. Then move on to using the following keys to do funny stuff: W, E, P, S, H, B, M, and N. Finally, if you’re going fast, and you turn (using the left or right arrow key), and then brake using the space bar, it’s pretty funny also!
I’ve recently updated the Road Trip USA – 2003 Web Site. You can now leave comments on each page that details one leg of our trip. I’ll be updating the full photos section soon (it’s currently being hosted on Yahoo! Photos) by moving it to a new hosting site where you can leave comments for each photo! Also, if you want to get to the Road Trip USA – 2003 Web Site, you can use either of the following links:
- http://roadtrip.marcbressman.com
- http://www.marcbressman.com/roadtrip
The old Road Trip USA – 2003 Web Site is still available at:
http://www.marcbressman.com/roadtrip/old_index.html
10. “I think the icing on this cake is wite-out”
9. “The bar will be open from 9:00 to 9:05″
8. “I’ve never seen chunky egg nog before”
7. “My New Year’s resolution is to stop videotaping the men’s room”
6. “Ooh, another windbreaker with the company logo – - This will help me put my kids through college”
5. “You’re supposed to sit naked on the xerox machine, not the shredder”
4. “Put on Regis Philbin’s Christmas album”
3. “Why is Shecky naked?”
2. “There’s Letterman – - Get him!”
1. “Yeah, a glass of watery cider and a cookie makes up for a year of bull**it”
Holiday Cookie Recipe
Sample the Cuervo to check the quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again. To be sure it is of the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer… Beat one cup of butter in the large fluffy
bowl.
Add one tear poon of suga . Beat again.
At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, so try another
cup, just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl. Chuck in
some dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit off floor …
Mix on the turner. If some fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the Cuervo again to check for tonsistaticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.
Drunk another tup of Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your
nuts. Add one table.
Add a poon full of somefink. Whatever.
Take a slug of the Tuervo and greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall doon. Don’t forget to beat
off the turner.
Finally, place the friggin’ bowl on your head, finish the Cose Juervo, mac
sure to put the stoove in th dishwacker, and pee- heat th oven.
- Awe, heck -
Screw the friggin’ cooties and jus enjoy th dolihays!!!
Pretty funny…
JibJab.com Presents: 2-0-5 George Bush’s Year In Review!
Was actually featured on CNN Headline News
Tina Fey, “Saturday Night Live”: “While speaking in North Carolina this week, President Bush said, ‘The economy is strong and the best days are yet to come,’ adding, ‘also the war’s going great, we don’t torture people, I’m 11-feet tall, and if you don’t believe me, you can ask my unicorn.’”
Michael Feldman, public radio’s “Whad’Ya Know?”: “In other news, Dick Cheney will personally greet troops returning from Iraq – as if they haven’t been through enough.”
Comedy writer Jake Novak: “Ninety-two-year-old former President Gerald Ford has been admitted to a California hospital for some tests. The first test they’re going to run is to determine if he was really the president.”
Fey on the 106th Army-Navy football game: “Army lost, but only because [Defense Secretary Donald] Rumsfeld advised them to use just five players, three of whom were not given equipment.”
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. Biblical scholars explain why the wise men brought gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Apparently, the stores were out of the Xbox 360.”
Novak on construction workers in lower Manhattan unearthing parts of a 240-year-old stone wall: “They know the wall came from the 1760s because all of the graffiti was done in calligraphy.”
David Letterman, “Late Show with David Letterman,” on the opening of the movie “King Kong”: “As a result, the terror alert was raised to ‘banana.’”
Well, I finally got around to updating my site with a new design and interface. It is still a “Blogger” site, but it hardly looks like one anymore. I hope you all like the new way it looks and works! Feel free to look around and check it out. Also, if you find anything that doesn’t work or is broken, please let me know.
And feel free to post some comments in the comments box below this post on what you think of the new site design and layout.
Don’t forget to Sign the Guestbook!
Enjoy!!
Some of the new capabilities:
Please sign the new guestbook when you have a chance…
(The comments for this particular post are actually the guestbook entries. The number of comments listed below is actually the total number of individual entries in the guestbook. Please do not leave a comment for this post, as you will actually be signing the guestbook for the entire site. Thank you.)
So, at my urging, my mother is finally ready to come into the 21st century in her classroom. She applied for and received a grant to purchase a digital projector (I think she is going to purchase the Epson Powerlite S3 on my recommendation – let me know if anyone has any strong opinions about this projector or any other one), but the problem is that a lot of her teaching is done using different technologies, such as an overhead projector, a TI-calcular television conversion kit (for showing the TI display on a television in her classroom), and resource CD’s that come with textbooks and offer additional learning and curriculum tools. It would be nice if she could do everything using just one device in conjunction with the new digital projector. My recommendation to her was to somehow get a Tablet PC, and I’m now helping her seek grants for a Tablet PC from a number of companies. The companies that we’ve contacted so far, listed below, either manufacturer Tablet PC’s or sell them (or in the case of Microsoft, provide the operating system):
However, as I’m sure you’re all aware, our chances are probably pretty slim of succeeding. I was wondering if anyone had any recommendations of how we might get a Tablet PC (either via a grant or donation (best case scenario) or for very cheap (worst case scenario)). I’m attaching some further information below that my mother put together regarding her grant proposal:
Brief Description of Program:
I am trying to put together a pilot program for my classroom that pulls together different technologies to improve academic achievement. At present, I am using a multimedia projector to display web sites along with CD-Rom resources provided by publishers. I am also using a graphing calculator with the associated television conversion kit. However, with a Tablet PC, I could integrate all of these technologies with added benefits. I would be able to use a virtual graphing calculator program with the multimedia projector that would allow greater functionality. I would also be able to use the Tablet PC to put together class lectures that I could then annotate, add to, and change on the fly. Additionally, I could use the Tablet PC’s capabilities to annotate and highlight important portions of web sites and CD-Rom resources. With blackboards and overhead projectors, there is no easy way to preserve and share daily lessons. An added value of the Tablet PC’s use in the classroom would be the capability to save all of my class notes (including annotations) for absent students. I would even be able to share my lessons, as presented in class, with my colleagues. As I’ve demonstrated, obtaining a Tablet PC would be a great advantage for me and my students.
Brief Description of Goals & Objectives:
I teach in a district that embraces innovation and has recently completed a technology upgrade project that has outfitted a 100-year old school building with current capabilities, such as internet access in every classroom. Now that this upgrade project is complete, we’re ready to start exploring different ways to use our newfound capabilities to increase student achievement. One of these applications in which I am extremely interested is the use of Tablet PC’s as core components in instruction. When paired with a multimedia projector (which we have thanks to another grant) the Tablet PC could offer enormous benefits in not only assisting the teaching staff, but in dramatically improving the way students learn.
Background:
My mother has been teaching high school mathematics since 1974
Brief Description of Reciprocation for Company/Organization Offering Grant:
In exchange for your generosity, I would be happy to provide public recognition of this grant and provide access to those who wish to observe my use of this technology. I plan to contact my professional organizations (National Council of Teachers of Math (NCTM), Association of Math Teachers of New Jersey (AMTNJ), New Jersey Educational Association (NJEA), and the National Education Association (NEA)) and local press about our partnership. In addition, I’d be anxious to work with your company to publicize the positive uses of this product in the classroom environment. I foresee this as a win-win situation for my students, my school district and your company.
Comedy writer Alan Ray: “Yesterday was Pearl Harbor Day. Back in 1941 the U.S. wasn’t ready for an attack by a foreign invader. The more things change, the more they stay the same.”
Jon Stewart, “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”: “Today Saddam Hussein stood up in his trial and shouted, ‘I am not afraid of execution!’ Until his lawyer explained to him that actually it was him [they were going to execute], and he wasn’t going to get to execute anybody. At which point he said in Arabic, ‘My bad.’”
Comedy writer Rob Bates: “Hillary Clinton has said that President Bush ‘misled’ her about the war in Iraq. She added, ‘I haven’t had a president lie so much to me since my husband.’”
Tina Fey, “Saturday Night Live”: “A new study suggests that middle-aged adults who go on periodic drinking binges may face a heightened sense of dementia later in life. The study is entitled, ‘National Strategy for Victory in Iraq.’”
Comedy writer Jim Barach: “The FBI says it used a fake candidate for state office in West Virginia to uncover corruption and vote buying. Do they really need to use fake candidates for that?”
Fey on Boston’s changing the name of the spruce tree in the common from Christmas tree to “Holiday tree”: “Also, the city’s Nativity scene will now be referred to as ‘the Holiday Homeless Family.’”